In the pleasure garden with Kat Kuzneva

This year, I’m diving deep into a single word: pleasure. For me, pleasure is a powerful way to connect with myself, with my body, and with the whole of life. I believe that for women, especially at midlife, pleasure isn't just important. It's revolutionary.

Each month, I’ll share a new interview with a woman who opens up about what nourishes her, the self-care rituals she practices, and what pleasure means to her.

Have you ever stood in front of a closet full of clothes and felt like you had absolutely nothing to wear?

In this heartwarming conversation, personal stylist and image coach Kat Kuzneva gets real about the difference between dressing to please others and dressing for pure personal pleasure.

She shares why most fashion "rules" are meant to be broken, how to find that magical moment when you look in the mirror and truly see yourself, and her simple ritual for turning getting dressed into a daily pleasure practice.

Spend a few minutes with Kat and discover a whole new way to think about getting dressed.

Can you share a glimpse into your world right now. What’s lighting you up these days?

Right now, my world’s a little chaotic. After a quiet summer, the kids are back in school, so it’s back to routines, busy mornings, and juggling work and family again. I’m trying to stay on top of everything while still finding little moments just for me.

Quiet, calm moments in nature feel like pure bliss right now. With two loud, energetic boys and a job that has me constantly around people, those peaceful pauses are everything. Also, random solo dance parties at home to music I love? That’s my version of joy lately.

What are three pleasurable words to describe yourself?

Determined, vibrant, charismatic.

Where do you find inspiration?

Lately, from other women in different industries. We’re so different, so layered, and incredibly strong, watching how we show up in the world, push through challenges, or just express ourselves… It's inspiring.

Is there a book, podcast, or resource that has deeply influenced you?

I read a lot and listen to podcasts almost daily, so I don’t have just one favorite. But here are a few I keep coming back to:

One of my all-time favorite books since I was 18 is “Veronika Decides to Die” by Paulo Coelho. I reread it every 7 years or so. Another one I loved is “Everything is F*cked” by Mark Manson. They might sound dark, but they’re actually full of love, life, and hope.

For podcasts, I like: The Life Coach School by Brooke Castillo, The Game by Alex Hormozi, The Goal Digger by Jenna Kutcher.

Name a person, past or present, real or fictional, whom you admire and look up to.

I’m Russian-Ukrainian, and I follow some Slavic women on social media who have deeply inspired and supported me.

From the past, I’ve always been fascinated by women who were unconventional in their time, like George Sand, for example

What are the first things you do every morning?

I try to stick to a morning routine. I’m a night owl by nature, but I’ve trained myself to wake up early while the house is still quiet. I stretch, meditate for 5 minutes, and write in my journal while sipping coffee. I’m not super strict, even doing just one of those things feels like a win.

What’s your favourite piece of clothing?

Jeans! A great-fitting pair is everything.

Is there a ritual you could not live without in your day?

Morning coffee and evening book.

What are some favourite ways you nourish yourself?

Honestly, I’ve been slacking a bit in this area lately. Life gets busy and I forget to take care of myself, but I’m working on it! I love massages, facials, and anything with water, swimming or just soaking in the bath totally resets me.

Chit chats with girlfriends at a cute café feed my soul. And when someone else cooks me a yummy, healthy meal? Heaven. I do love to cook, but as a mom, it usually feels like a chore, so it’s extra nourishing when I don’t have to!

How do you define pleasure?

Pleasure changes for me depending on the season of life I’m in. Right now, it’s quiet or fun moments when I don’t have to think about anything, no business, no meals, no guilt, no decisions. Just being.

I had that on a recent mini getaway with my husband, he planned everything, and for the first time in over 10 years, I fully turned off my brain. It was the best feeling. That’s what pleasure is for me these days.

What have you noticed about the relationship between pleasure and personal style?

What I’ve noticed is that the magic really happens when someone’s style matches what they actually love to wear. When the clothes feel good on their body, show off who they are, and just feel like them. There’s no discomfort, no second-guessing. It just feels easy. You feel confident, calm, like you can finally relax. That’s what I’m always helping people find, that spot where style feels good and natural and honestly, a little fun.

What simple style choices can women make to invite more pleasure into their everyday lives?

I think it starts with wearing what actually feels good. Soft fabrics, fun earrings, colors that make you happy. Clothes that fit your body now. Even just putting on something you love, instead of saving it for later, can totally change how you feel. Style should feel like a little treat, not something you have to earn.

Is there a difference between dressing to please others and dressing for one’s own pleasure? How do you guide women toward the latter?

Yes, there’s definitely a big difference. When we dress to please others, we’re usually hoping for approval. We want all people we meet to like us. But honestly, that never really works, because you can’t control what people think. You can’t please everyone, and trying to is just exhausting.

Dressing for your own pleasure feels completely different. It’s more about how YOU feel in your clothes. You feel more like yourself. You feel comfortable, confident, even a bit playful. When you dress like that, you actually attract the right people into your life, people who get you.

When I work with women, I help them figure that out by having real conversations. I use special Authenticity cards, and we talk about who they are, what they like, how they want to feel, and what’s going on in their life. It’s not just about clothes, it’s about how they want to show up. Then we build a wardrobe that feels really true to them.

What’s one “rule” of fashion you’d love women to break in the name of pleasure?

Honestly, I don’t believe in most fashion rules, they’re just opinions. Someone louder or more famous says something, and suddenly it’s a “rule.” But the truth is, different people and cultures do things differently all the time. Rules come and go.

So if there’s a “rule” that’s bothering you, like something someone once told you that you HAVE to follow, that’s probably the one you need to break first. If it feels restrictive or makes you second-guess yourself, it’s not for you.

The only real guideline I personally believe in is good composition, the rule of thirds. But even that can be played with. Style should feel good, not stressful.

Can you share a “feel-good outfit moment” you’ve witnessed?

Honestly, every time I do a full styling session, there’s this magic moment I see, that little spark in their eyes when they look in the mirror and really see themselves. It’s like something shifts. They light up, start smiling, even doing a little dance. They’re shocked at how good they feel and look!

One of my recent clients tried on a pair of pants that fit just right, and she kept repeating, “I have a waist! I didn’t know I had a waist!” (Even though I told her many times she did, she just didn’t believe me until that moment.) Moments like that are exactly why I do what I do.

What’s one small ritual of dressing that can turn getting ready into a moment of pleasure?

Giving yourself plenty of time to get ready, without rushing, can be such a gift. Make it slow and thoughtful, almost meditative, or turn it into something playful with music and dancing. Even doing it just once a week makes a huge difference in how you feel.

What changes when a woman allows herself to dress with pleasure at the center?

Everything changes. She starts showing up differently. She walks taller, smiles more, and just feels good in her skin. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about feeling connected to yourself.

You stop dressing out of pressure or hiding. You start choosing what actually feels right, and that changes how people see you too. Confidence becomes natural, not forced. It’s such a simple shift, but it’s powerful.

I’d love for you to share about microscopic pleasures that you have recently experienced:

A taste: A Slavic dish from childhood, And a ripe, juicy peach.

A sound: The sound of silence. Haha! Also the wind, birds chirping, my favourite music and contagious laughter. Cheesy maybe, but honestly, that’s what feels good lately.

A sight: A lake, quietly surrounded by lush greenery. My nervous system says thank you every time

A smell: The smell of fresh bakery, warm bread and sweet pastries

A touch: A massage from my husband. I still carry tension from my hairstylist days, and his massages really help me relax. It’s not just the touch, it’s knowing he’s doing it with love. That makes it extra special.

Kat Kuzneva is a personal stylist, image coach, 43 years old mom of two, cat lover, and someone who loves helping women feel good in their clothes. She’s originally from Ukraine and has been living in Canada for over 20 years. She used to do hair, but styling took over when she realized so many women her age were struggling with style and learning how to love themselves again.

She lives for that “wait… is that me?!” moment in the mirror.

She works with women in Edmonton and online, creating wardrobes that feel personal, easy, and like a confidence boost every time you get dressed. When she’s not styling, she’s probably juggling kids, getting lost in a book or her phone, planning imaginary vacations, or trying to lint-roll cat hair off her clothes.

Website: Kat Kuzneva

Social: @katkuzneva