How to find pleasure in travel (even when things go wrong)
In the pleasure garden with Cheryl Burke
In the Pleasure Garden features monthly reflections from women solopreneurs about what nourishes them, from pleasure and self-care rituals to building businesses that sustain us rather than deplete us.
Do you love to travel? Or does travel stress you out more than it delights you? Maybe a bit of both?
This month's Pleasure Garden interview is with Cheryl Burke, the Chief Wanderlust Enabler at Resetting Joy, where she helps individuals, families, and groups take trips that soothe their souls, change their perspectives, and bring them closer to one another.
Can you share a glimpse into your world right now. What’s lighting you up these days?
I recently moved back to the East Coast. I’m enjoying exploring my new city, visiting well-loved spots in nearby cities, and seeing friends and family who were very far away during the decades I spent in the Midwest. Coming home to the familiarity of the East Coast and finding new things to love are lighting me up in equal measure. Day-to-day, I’m enjoying simple pleasures such as slow mornings, the beautiful things growing in my veggie garden, and spending time with new friends.
What are three pleasurable words to describe yourself?
Grounded, curious, adventurous
Is there a book, podcast, or resource that has deeply influenced you?
The Little Book of Hygge, or rather the larger concept of hygge. It is a Danish concept of coziness and social connection that helps me not only survive during long winters but thrive year-round. Over the years, this is a concept that has become very much a part of who I am.
It reminds me to take pleasure in simple things and time with loved ones. I also love that hygge is a way of life learned from people of a different culture. It’s a little bit like traveling in that way. Part of the joy of traveling is to experience the ways other people live well, learn from them, and then bring some of those practices home.
Name a person, past or present, real or fictional, whom you admire and look up to.
My Memere. She was wise, funny, and so deeply aware of the world around her. She was intuitive in a way I’ve not seen since she passed and have always admired. The older I get, the more I look up to her..
What are the first things you do every morning?
Open my blinds to let the light in because I am not a morning person, though I wish I were. Then I light a candle, center myself, and journal. I see where my own intuition takes me and set intentions for the day.
Is there a ritual you could not live without in your day?
Yes, and it is very simple. I speak my intentions for the day into my coffee as I stir in my spices and creamer. It’s a simple touchstone that I can take with me anywhere.
What are some favourite ways you nourish yourself?
Spending time in nature, delighting in delicious food and beverages, especially those I make myself. I knit whatever I feel like, frequently without a pattern, and it either turns out well or becomes a funny disaster. I find anything that makes me laugh to be very nourishing. I read whatever feels right at the time, be it a novel, a witchy romance, Celtic spirituality, a travel memoir, or an herbalism guide. It’s all fair game!
As someone who helps people design their trips, what's one shift in how someone plans that turns travel from stressful to genuinely joyful?
The secret is to take the time to figure out what kind of trip you need and then focus your plans in that direction. I suggest that people journal about it and think through some prompts such as “what part of my life needs to be nurtured or recalibrated,” “how do I want to feel on my trip” and “what would I like to be possible when I get home as a result of this trip?”
All of this helps people create trips that are tailored to them. People get the most out of trips that speak to who they are and where they are at that moment in their lives, not when they do and see what they’re “supposed to” when visiting a particular place.
Travel has so many unglamorous moments, like delays, jet lag, logistics, figuring out what to pack. How do you find (or protect) pleasure in travel even when things aren't going smoothly?
One thing that I usually tell my clients is that something, big or small, will likely go wrong on their trip. Travel is simply life condensed. However, the things that don’t go as planned tend to become the stories we tell when we get home. Approach issues with humor if you can.
The other thing that I do is make sure that my clients have the information they need to handle anything that may go wrong. This way they head out on their adventure with a toolkit of contingency plans, knowing that they can handle anything that comes their way and can reframe any issues as bumps in the road rather than major catastrophes.
I refer to this as an Adventure Mindset, which essentially boils down to the mantra, “I’m not going to let this ruin my trip.” A little bit of research and forethought goes a long way in enjoying a trip and allowing people to experience much more pleasure along the way.
Is there a specific place, ritual, or moment from your own travels that captures pure pleasure for you…something you go back to when you need reminding why you do this work?
I am lucky to have many such moments, but the one that jumps out to me today is from our first big family trip post-pandemic. It was the kind of moment people hope to fall into when they travel, which is just what we did.
We were sitting in a cozy little piazza in Taormina, Sicily, enjoying the beautiful evening, having an aperitivo at a café we happened upon. Across the way was a chapel full for a wedding. There were people walking in and out to catch a cool breeze, kids running here and there in their wedding clothes, beautiful music, and when the bells rang, a newly married couple emerged to cheers and applause. They beamed at those who knew them best and those who would never know their names. It was a joy to be a part of such a fleeting communal moment.
When I encourage people to wander off the beaten path and let their intuition lead them on their travels, I hope that they find themselves in moments like these.
What's one small, easy tip our readers could use on their very next trip to bring in more joy or ease? Something anyone could try, big trip or small?
The easiest thing is to slow down and not plan so many activities. It gives time for rest, less stress about timelines and missing things, and time to talk to locals. If you’re brave enough to do so, the people you meet can lead you to so many hidden gems that never land in a guidebook, blog, or video.
If you could only pack one "joy item" in your carry-on — something purely for pleasure, not function — what would it be?
Several of my functional travel items are chosen in part because they bring me joy, such as scarves, journals, and even clothing items. I pack very lightly, and everything must earn its place, but joy is as important as other functions. My joy item would be a little fake plant I bought years ago to cozy up a hotel room on a long work trip. I named him Herman for no particular reason and he sits on my desk and makes me smile daily. He has gone along on several trips over the years purely to make me smile in distant hotel rooms and guest houses.
Microscopic Pleasures
I’d love for you to share about microscopic pleasures that you have recently experienced.
A taste: The homemade lavender simple syrup I’ve been adding to my iced tea and occasional adult beverages shared with friends.
A sound: The ring of an old bell I picked up on a trip as I open and close my office door.
A sight: Seneca Lake and the vineyard along its shore as seen from the patio of a distillery.
A smell: My favorite handcrafted candle that I picked up on a recent trip.
A touch: My long hair as it sweeps across my shoulders while wearing a summer top.
More about Cheryl Burke
Cheryl is the Chief Wanderlust Enabler at Resetting Joy, where she helps individuals, families, and groups take trips that soothe their souls, change their perspectives, and bring them closer to one another. She strongly believes in the power of travel to understand the beauty of the world and value that each person innately possesses.
Her company was born of the desire to help others do the same. She describes her coaching style as part cheerleader, part no-nonsense best friend, and part expert researcher. She delights in seeing how her clients change during the dreaming and planning process and especially during the trips they take.
She hosts the Wanderlust Enabled podcast to provide information and inspiration to those who want to turn their travel dreams into reality. As a new empty nester, Cheryl is enjoying exploring the East Coast again, meeting pleasantly odd people, and planning her next adventure.
